The other week I was asked to speak about my postpartum depression experience on Headline News with Michaela and Lindsay Gertz, the writer of the powerful documentary, When the Bough Breaks. I have to admit when I got the phone call I told the producer I needed to think about it for a few minutes and call her back. I spoke with my mom and one of my best girlfriends and decided that whether I’m writing a blog about postpartum depression or speaking out about it on a news segment, the most important thing is to bring awareness to the public so people suffering do not feel so alone. I think I hesitated for a moment because it’s a vulnerable experience to speak candidly about your own path and how it has affected your life. But ultimately, if my story- what I went through and still get bouts of today, helps just one female I’ve done my job. One of the points I would like to get across that I don’t think I mentioned in previous blogs or on this new segment was there are varying levels of postpartum depression. I was ignorant to the statement before I got pregnant and gave birth, thinking it was when you did not relate to your baby. I don’t know where I got that idea and I don’t know why it made an impression? Yes, that is a factor for some women, but in my case that was not it at all. Lennox and I bonded instantaneously and that added to the confusion. Why couldn’t I stop crying while holding my perfect little baby? So many conflicting thoughts running through my mind and clouding one of the most beautiful moments in my life. All that being said, there are ways to get help. I mentioned it in my last post and I will mention it again, seeking medical attention is so beneficial. That’s what I did and it helped lift the fog and dry my tears. Not completely, they still come back now and then, but it brought me back to Amy, helping me feel normal again and be able to fully experience the moment. If that’s not a path you want to go, I would definitely recommend going to therapy, joining a mommy group where you are experiencing the same challenges and experiences at the same time, and definitely try to explain it to your spouse. They may not understand, but you can definitely try and help them see what you are going through.
Sending so much love to all of you beautiful you beautiful mothers out there!