I look at my child, my incredibly happy boy and I am continually blown away. Did God really choose me to be this beautiful boy’s mother? Did Lennox really choose us as parents? I can’t believe six months has passed. I can’t believe my 5 lbs, 1 oz and three weeks premature baby is now 20 lbs. 3 oz., eating food and drinking out of a sippy cup. Everyone says how quickly time flies by, how fast they grow up. It’s so true, and part of me hates it. Even though every day Lennox and I laugh more, cuddle more and bond more, I still miss some of those early newborn days.
My postpartum depression hit me pretty hard and I feel like that first month was a blur. Who else feels that way? Was your first month, two months, three months really challenging? And it I had nothing to do with Lennox at all. I missed my pregnancy, I wasn’t ready for him to come three weeks early and then his birth didn’t go as planned-At all. Did anyone’s tho?!! I know it’s silly, when you make plans God laughs right?!
Anyway, the gratitude searing through my veins is hard to explain. I can’t believe I’ve only known Lennox for six months. I feel like I’ve known him forever. I’m so excited for all the journeys we have in our future. Every laugh fills me to the brim…
I’m going to sleep tonight full of love, peace and gratitude. It feels really good to be in this place. I’m a mommy. Wow, thank you God! ??????